Dog Days of Winter
by Matt Magnet
Summary: Here's yet another MITM ficcie for y'all...Please R&R!
1. Default Chapter Title

Dog Days of Winter: Part 1

** **

"I'm bored," whined Dewey. "I wanna do something!"

"So do I," chorused Reese and Malcolm. It was a cold December afternoon, and Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey were stuck inside the house. Hal and Lois were at work. They both had been working overtime lately, in order to be able to afford nicer Christmas presents for the boys.

"Is it Christmas yet?" Dewey asked.

"No!" Malcolm hollered to his younger brother. The boys were on Winter Break. The weather was so freezing cold, that they'd had to spend their entire break so far in the house. Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey were anxious for Christmas to come, and get rid of their boredom.

"Let's see if there's anything good on TV," Reese dug the remote from out of the crack in one of the couch cushions, and turned the TV on.

"Gross, it's a 'Waltons' marathon!" Reese hastily turned the television off. The three boys sat in silence, staring at the cracks in the ceiling.

"You wanna throw water balloons on people walking by?" inquired Dewey.

"It's glacial and icy out there, Dewey. No one's walking," Malcolm said witheringly.

"We could throw a stink bomb into the Bergman's yard," Reese offered.

"We don't have any more stink bombs. We put the last one in Dad's hamper, remember?" groaned Malcolm.

"This sucks!" Reese thundered. Heaving a gigantic sigh, Dewey flipped on the TV, and the boys unhappily watched the 'Waltons' marathon. They had never been so bored in their lives.

Meanwhile, Lois was in the drug store in which she worked, talking to her over-weight, love-struck coworker, Craig.

"The boys are going to be so excited about the Christmas present Hal and I got them!" exclaimed Lois.

"What'd you get them?" Craig quipped.

"Well, I had to work practically forever, but we finally got enough to afford the best surprise!" Lois chirped. 

"A great surprise? Well, that's very…I think it's very nice. Can you excuse me? I have some work to do," mumbled Craig.

Craig stalked away sadly and angrily. _Oh great, now they have some incredibly wonderful surprise planned! Hal and Lois just have the perfect life, don't they! How is Lois ever going to realize that I'm her one true love if that stupid Hal keeps showering her with gifts? Oh well, I guess there's always Chloe, who works in aisle 4. She seems pretty nice. But she's not Lois! I guess I'll just have to sit tight, and wait for Lois to figure out that she and I are meant to be together!_

Later that day, Hal and Lois arrived home with a large cardboard box in their hands. 

"Boys! Come here!" Lois called. Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey trooped dejectedly into the kitchen.

"We have an early Christmas present for you boys," Hal said, holding out the box.

Reese set the box on the table and took off the lid. And out of the cardboard box tumbled the one of the best Christmas present the boys had ever seen.


	2. Default Chapter Title

Dog Days of Winter: Part 2

** **

As Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey stared in happy astonishment, a delightful Golden Retriever puppy stumbled out of the cardboard box. The puppy was truly adorable, with a shiny gold coat, a madly wagging tail, and floppy ears. The chocolate colored eyes gazed lovingly up at its new owners.

"It's a puppy!" shrieked Dewey.

"Mom, Dad, you're the greatest!" Reese exclaimed.

"This is so cool!" Malcolm yelled.

"Boys, I'd like you to meet Max. He's 8 weeks old, and all ours!" Hal announced proudly.

"You really like him?" questioned Lois happily.

"Like him? We love him!" gushed Reese.

"I wanna play with him!" Dewey shouted.

The rest of the night was spent playing with Max. The family never left his side. They thought that he was the most darling thing they'd ever seen. Everything Max did, they seemed to think was absolutely adorable. Hal, Reese, Malcolm and Dewey even thought it was endearing when Max crapped on the carpet. Lois didn't find it endearing. She found it annoying. However, Lois didn't hold him against him.

That night, Hal, Lois, Reese, Malcolm and Dewey went to bed wide smiles on their faces. They loved Max more than life itself, and had never been so happy before.

A few days later, the family unit didn't find Max so charming. He managed to destroy everything he could find.

"Max! Bad boy!" thundered Lois, holding up the remains of what used to be her best bra. 

"Lois, have you seen my little red book?" Hal asked his wife as he walked into their bedroom.

"What little red book?"

"You know, the one with all my client's information in it. It's the single most important thing that I own! If I don't find it, I'll be fired!" blared Hal loudly.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but I have no idea where it-" Lois trailed off in mid sentence. Her eyes fell on the mangled, small book lying on the floor. On closer inspection, she could see that it was red. The pages of the tiny book had been ripped out and shredded. It was ruined. Nothing could be salvaged.

Hal gawked at what used to be his little red book. Without a word, he stalked out of the room and into the bathroom. Lois listened as her husband maliciously lashed out every single obscenity he knew. 

In the boy's room, they weren't too happy either. In fact, Reese, Malcolm and Dewey were down right upset.

"Max peed on my bunny!" moaned Dewey. He held up a very wet stuffed rabbit. It was once white, but was rapidly turning yellow.

"Omigod! He ripped up all my homework! Caroline will kill me! Or even worse, she'll try to get me to confide in her again!" Malcolm vented.

"Oh yeah? Well that stupid dog chewed up my most prized possession!" screamed Reese.

"And what's that?" Malcolm asked.

"My 'Li'l Hell raiser's Kit! It had everything a kid could possibly need to torment the neighborhood with! Water balloons, stink bombs, firecrackers, fake dog crap, everything!" Reese stomped angrily out of the room and into his parent's bedroom. His younger brothers trailed along behind him. 

"Mom, we've got to do something about Max! He's ruined all our stuff! It's horrible!" bellowed Reese.

"This really is out of control. I'm sorry boys, but we can't keep him," Lois said.

"How soon can we get rid of him?" her three sons asked in one voice. 

"I don't know how to get rid of him," Hal sighed.

"Don't worry about it, Dad. We'll take of it. I'll make sure Max gets a good home." Reese smiled up at his parents.

The next day, Reese, Malcolm and Dewey snuck over to their neighbors, the Bergman's house. They hated the Bergmans more than anyone else in the neighborhood.

Snickering, Malcolm set a large cardboard box down on the Bergman's front step. He rang the doorbell, and then he and his brothers run away.

As the boys were running into their own yard, they heard the front door open, and listened as Mrs. Bergman exclaimed loudly, 

"Oh my! What a darling puppy!"


End file.
